


Torn

by MsNJS



Category: EastEnders
Genre: Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-12
Packaged: 2017-12-04 06:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsNJS/pseuds/MsNJS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I found this fic on my computer. I started this months ago. This was my attempt at filling in some space and gaps of one of my most favorite Chryed Scenes. </p><p> </p><p>Un-beta'd</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Alley

Christian tightly wrapped his arms around Syed’s waist. Syed’s hands rose to object to the embrace but it was a half-hearted attempt. Christian could feel Syed’s heart racing and his cock stiffening in his jeans. He titled his head slightly; hovering over Syed’s lips for a few moments taking in Syed’s breath. His chest rose and fell heavily, the anticipation staggered his breath.

  
“You worry too much.” Christian whispered. His fingers pulled Syed’s face back toward him. “Come here.” His husky deep voice demanded. He kissed Syed.

Christian may have only kissed Syed’s lips but Syed felt it throughout his body. A tingling magnetic sensation rushed over him, it pulled him to Christian. Against all reason and opposition, Christian had a hold over Syed.

Christian slightly bent his knees then pushed up, lifting Syed against the wall. His groin pressed into Syed’s, increasing the pressure. Syed’s legs hugged the sides of Christian’s body and he didn’t stop kissing Christian as he rose up against the bricks.. His tongue entered Christian’s mouth first. Initially timid, his tongue barely pushed past Christian’s lips, gently touching his tongue before it became daring, swirling and rubbing against Christian’s tongue. Even though Syed often attempted to resist kissing Christian, he always kissed him like he couldn’t get enough.

Christian’s arms loosened their grip from Syed’s waist to allow his hands to cup Syed’s ass. He dug his fingers in to his denim covered arse and pulled him closer. A shallow moan escaped Syed. Christian then went to kiss his neck. He planted little kisses up to Syed’s ear lobe.

If he reached that bit of flesh, game over.

This ‘thing’ would happen right here, in the alley; hidden from the world by only a raggedy door.

“No no no no… stop. I can’t.” Syed said breathlessly. His hands moved back to Christian’s chest attempting to push him away again. And again, Syed’s body wouldn’t obey.

“I’ve got to …..” He began to speak but trailed off into a sigh. Christian continued to hold him tight. He was breathing heavily. Just being in the same room with him, made Syed crazy, let alone wrapped up in his arms. The world carrying on, on the other side of the door, excited Christian.

Syed shook his head trying to gain control of himself; he placed his feet on the ground and finally pushed Christian away, barely. Christian looked at him eager and desperate. They stood in a noisy silence, trying to steady their heart beats.

“Not here,” Syed said through unsteady breath. His hazel eyes had passion and anxiety dancing in them.

“Later?” Christian quickly asked. Silence followed the question. Syed opened his mouth, drew in air to answer but stopped abruptly. He stopped the ‘Yes’ coursing through his blood, tugging at his heart, squeezing at his loins. He stopped the ‘Yes’ dead in its sure path. He looked at Christian, who stirred so many emotions in him.

‘Maybe,’ was all he offered in response. Syed pushed Christian back, completely, and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

“What took you so long?” Amira asked as Syed entered the salon.

“I had to go to a different store to get the ones you wanted.” He lied. Lying had become such an easy and difficult thing to do. It was easy to lie to Amira, it was safe. It was hard to lie about Christian, it was painful. Syed thought back to what he had really been doing.

“You look a little flushed. Are you alright?” Amira asked. But Syed did not hear her, he was somewhere else. “And disheveled, did something happen?” She waited for Syed to answer. “Syed!?” She asked again, demanding his attention.

“Yes.” He said as if he had been present the entire time.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah of course.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re acting weird….Are you coming over tonight?”

“No.” Syed said too quickly.

“No?” She asked suspiciously. Her mouth began to form a question.

“I mean... I can’t.” Syed hastily replied. “I have to prepare for that dinner tomorrow.” Amira looked at him puzzled. “You know that one…” He trailed off trying to put his lie together.

“Hello!” A little voice interrupted and saved Syed. “I am here for my 5:30 appointment.”

“I’ll be right with you.” Amira said. She turned back to Syed to continue the conversation but he had already walked away from her.

“Well, I best be off.” He said as he headed for the door. Amira stared perplexed as she watched him leave.

**++**

Syed wandered aimlessly around the square for some time.

His phone rang, it was his mother. He silenced the call. Zainab was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

His trek eventually led him to the train station. Syed stared at the ‘Walford East Station’ sign hanging over the entrance. He looked back at Walford. Amira was waiting for him. Zainab was expecting him. And Christian…

Christian was hoping for him.

Syed felt torn and weary. Everyone wanted so much from him. Everyone deserved so much from him and he just didn’t have enough to give.

He swiped his card and boarded the train. It didn’t matter where he went, he just had to go.


	3. Chapter 3

Syed consumed Christian’s thoughts for the rest of afternoon. Christian had worked so hard to break from Syed, to get over Syed. He worked fewer hours at Masala Queen. He even had a new boyfriend to occupy his free time but it wasn’t helping. Something about Syed had a hold over Christian. It kept him up at night and gripped him during the day.

He just couldn’t shake him.

And today, today Syed was nothing short of stunning. His sun-darken skin made him look luminous. His gray shirt and jeans clung to his tight body, calling to Christian. His hair was perfect; the dark brown locs crowned his head and danced in the wind. The sight of him shattered all the walls Christian had carefully been building. And when he held him….Christian could feel it. It was scary and exciting and beautiful, but most of all it felt right.

Fueled with and anticipation, Christian hurried to finish his errands.  
“Oi Mate! Watch it!” Roxie yelled and smacked Christian on his bicep. He had nearly knocked her over coming out of the minute mart.  
“Oh babes! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you there, my minds somewhere else.” He said with true sincerity even though the corner of his mouth turned up just a bit at the thought of where his mind was….

Roxy looked at him hard and inquisitively. She narrowed her eyes."Somewhere, hun?”

“Yeaah.” Christian said with a huge smile. “And I am on a schedule so I will have to catch up with you later.” He leaned over, kissed her cheek and started to walk away.

“Wait, wait,” Roxie said pulling at his arm. Christian tried to blank his expression as he turned to Roxie. “What do you have going on tonight? Can we do something, I’ll be bored.”

“Can’t babe, I’ve got a……plans.”

“Plans?”

“Yeah, plans.” Christian quipped with a smile and walked off, leaving Roxie with a puzzled look.

**++**

Once Christian got home to his flat he immediately began cleaning the place. Syed probably would not come, he thought as he changed his sheets and cooked dinner. But he still prepared the room because deep down, beneath his doubt and insecurities, in his heart he knew Syed would come.

Just as he started for the shower a message came in on his phone. He nearly ran to the phone lying on his kitchen table. He unlocked the phone but saw it was a message from James, not Syed. He stomach sank a little bit. For one thing, he was messing around on James. James was a great guy and an old friend. He did not deserve to be caught up in this…this… this thing.

And Syed had not called or messaged him since they saw each other a couple hours ago. His thumb hovered over the composed text icon near Syed’s name. But he paused. He will come, Christian assured himself. He threw the phone on the bed and went to take a shower.

He barely finished drying himself before he checked his phone again. It was 8:47 and still no word from Syed. Christian decided to just carry on with the evening. Waiting and checking his phone only made him anxious. He fixed a plate of food and turned on the telly.

**+++**

  
A few hours later Christian woke up to reruns of Eurotrash and a half finished plate of food. He hesitantly checked his phone, still nothing. And that nothing stabbed at his heart and the 11:07 on the clock slapped him across the face. Syed wasn’t coming.

He put away the food and cleaned the dishes.

He had put the last fork in the draw when his door buzzed.


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m sorry.” Syed said softly as he walked through the door. Christian closed the door behind him softly, letting one hand lingered on the door knob and the other on the frame for a moment. He took a deep breath and then turned to Syed, leaned against the wall of the nook.

  
Christian stared at him intently but Syed kept his head down as he fiddled with his hands. “I just...” Syed took a deep breath. “I just had to clear my head. I was...” Syed halted.

“What?” Christian asked, stepping toward him.

“Nothing. Nevermind.” He said with his head still down and his body a tense confliction of impulses making him want to do 10 different things at once.

“Syed,” Christian said in that husky, soft voice he used only for Syed. You know you can talk to me, about anything.” Christian edged closer to him.

Syed nodded.

“Hey?” Christian pulled Syed’s face up to meet his eyes filled to the brim with love and concern for this troubled man. “What is it?”

Syed sniffed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does. Whatever you feel always matters.”

“No, no I’m sorry.” Syed said shaking his head and pulling from a Christian a bit.

A tear fell from his cloudy hazel eyes. Every emotion—love, anger, confusion, sadness, lust—was in their depths. They fought each other for dominance…. He looked up at Christian, who returned the confused gaze with intensity and conviction. Despite his desires he understood the position Syed was in, he understood the pain and the struggle he endured. His strong hands still framed his face and he wiped away the tears.

Christian mustered up a smile for Syed. He wanted to cry with him, for him. But he had to push that aside and be there for Syed. “Whatever you need, whatever you want. I made dinner, we could talk or we….”

  
But Christian was silenced and answered with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is all I wrote and I'm going to end it here. As you can tell hot, lascivious, angsty sex was going to happen but I'm not inspired to write it so I will leave it alone instead of giving you crap....


End file.
